Strike 2 for destiny
Today my morning class got out about half an hour early. As I was heading back to my car I spotted the "girl of destiny" from Starbusters last week just sitting outside the computer science building talking to someone. Don't ask me why but I didn't go over and say hi. (Maybe I needed three or four beers first, like last time?) Actually, scratch that, I got all the way to my car and then went back to pretend like I had forgotten something in the building, but by that time she was gone.
For some reason this really upset me, like there was a pit in my stomach. I think I'm just kind of in a general funk as of late and this only served to emphasize that. It's not necessarily an "I wish I had a girlfriend, woe is me" funk—it has more to do with platonic frienships. Lately it seems like I'm really having to work hard at friendships lately, something that's never a good sign. As a result I've been thinking about things a lot and have been getting stressed out over it. It doesn't help that I'm usually alone when I'm in the apartment—I've really been kind of lonely this whole semester, with Bill in Iraq and Chad working most of the time.
I've been quite tempted to stop using AIM (on a temporary basis) because it really exacerbates the problem. Unfortunately, I have several friends with whom I really only converse online, so I feel as if I would be shutting them out—and that definitely would not help things. I would strongly prefer to communicate primarily in person, over the phone, and maybe a little bit over e-mail. In an ideal world I would use AIM only to send quick messages and not to have long, drawn-out conversations as I currently do.
Now, I know most of the people who read my blog don't leave comments or discuss my posts with me, but I would really like to here your opinion about this. Do you think I should hang up AIM for a while and try to regain my sanity (at the possible expense of alienating some friends)? Or should I continue using AIM, at the same time getting stressed out over certain friendships that appear to be in lesss-than-ideal shape? Please share your thoughts with me in one way or another if you can... I would greatly appreciate it.
-Mark
posted by Mark @ 11:36 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I think the problem is that with IM and e-mail, calling someone on the phone now seems much more personal than it used to. If you're calling someone on the phone, it's because you REALLY want to talk to them, because otherwise you'd just IM or e-mail. This leaves real-voice conversation in a higher and rarer position than it used to be. Thus, more and more lonely souls sitting in the darkness of their studies, surfing the internet seeking a human connection.
Buck the trend, pick up the phone, and call someone you wouldn't otherwise call. They'll appreciate that you like them enough to use the phone. And you'll feel better.
Just my two cents.
Maybe a good solution would be to just leave an endless away message up. That way your friends can still contact you (and only leave brief messages), yet you won't have to disappear completely. Either way, don't let women leave your head spinnin'! Many a man has passed through the path you now wander, so you're not alone.
John
Well, I'm just about to hit the hay, but when a friend needs me, they come first. First of all Marky boy, your friends really care about you, and cherish the friendship you give. I'm not that great to give advice on AIM, because I don't use it very much. Only to keep in touch with ex-girlfriends :) Anyway, just know that all your friends would drop anything they're doing to chat when your lonely. I know your always there for me. Well, I'm sure we can talk more this weekend. Good luck with everything man.
Nick
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