Instant messenger manifesto

I've been doing some thinking lately about various topics and, after remembering the title of my blog here, I figured I'd share my thoughts on one topic I've been thinking about lately with you, my faithful readers.

The subject at hand is instant messenger. I have three or four friendships that exist primarily through a little software program that lets me type out messages and exchange them with people who may be as close by as the next room or as far away as another country. Okay, so I don't have any foreigners on my buddy list, but there are some friends of mine who maintain that status only because they haven't stopped chatting with me (and vice-versa).

Fifteen years ago, most of these friendships would have been more science fiction than reality. It's amazing to think that the computer has become so powerful a communication medium that it actually makes new types of friendships possible. For all of the exciting possibilities this brings, however, there are also many less-than-wonderful aspects. For example, it is incredibly hard to understand another person's mood based purely on text conversations. Sure, smileys make it a little more personal, but in the end it's still just reading and writing—no tone-of-voice or body language. Since so much communication is non-verbal (or, in the case of IMs, non-textual), the absence of it makes chats very one dimensional.

Additionally, it is easy to become distracted while chatting. This can be due to other chats you're involved in or something else altogether—homework, for example. If you're on the other side of that chat it can be frustrating when your friend constantly replies with one word phrases and/or takes a long time to respond. Are they upset with you or just busy? Should you ask them, or would that be overreacting? These are the kind of things that bug me, even though I try not to let that happen.

I understand that chatting is not like a face-to-face conversation, but when it's the major communicational aspect of a friendship it's hard not to treat it like one. I've had "fights" with friends online that really only pop up because of the limitations of instant messenger as a communication medium. When I've had chances to get coffee or just hang out with the same friends in real life the conversations flow much better and I just feel so much more satisfied afterward.

I wish I could change all of my online-centric friendships so that they were more reality-based, but that's not an easy process. So in the end, I guess this post is mostly just a rant about the shortcomings of instant messenger, because as great a tool as it can be it can also be just as big of a burden.

Do you agree with this? I'm really curious to see what you have to say about this matter, so please leave a message on the blog or—ahem—send me an instant message to share your opinion.

-Mark