A tribute to Rodney

Rodney Dangerfield has always been one of my favorite comics. He has starred in some of the funniest movies I've ever seen (Caddyshack, Back to School, Easy Money) and his jokes have made me laugh out loud on a countless number of occasions.

Over the summer I read his recently-published autobiography and it was great. It was filled with a lot of humorous anecdotes and stories but also gave a lot more depth to a man that's often known as "that guy who can't get no respect." I highly recommend everyone to check it out.

And now, courtesy of an article from the Chicago Tribune, here are but a few of Rodney's many knee-slappers:

"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!"

* * *

"Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide.' He told me to pay in advance."

* * *

"One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh."

* * *

"Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H."

* * *

"Oh, when I was a kid I was poor. We were so poor, when my father died, they asked my mother, 'Paper or plastic?' "

* * *

"My uncle's dying wish, he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."

* * *

"I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel."

* * *

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

* * *

"I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor, so they sent a priest to talk to me. He said, "On your mark. . ."

* * *

"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."

* * *

"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the West."

* * *

"I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin."

* * *

"I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend."

* * *

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

* * *

"I tell ya, I'm an ugly guy. I went to the proctologist and he stuck his finger in my mouth."

-Mark